9x9

ok, i somehow got by tagged by mr jim bliss on the great 7x7 blog meme. . and, as he's pointed out, he's so fantastically productive, he's shamed me into getting my butt in gear and actually doing the thing. so i did.

and then i got tagged by merrick on bristling badger, who has transformed it into an even more time-consuming and edit-inducing 9x9. bastard.


so here goes, kids

they are in no particular order.

Nine Things To Do Before I Die

1. play the violin properly
2. be in a band
3. help someone change their life (someone can't change *your* life, but they can be a catalyst)
4. go to australia (providing someone de-spiders it first)
5. have nice teeth
6. eat some mushrooms (more than two teeny weeny ones)
7. quit smoking. (nb if i am diagnosed with a terminal illness, then ignore that one)
8. build a house or something like that
9. get my mum mortal drunk


Nine Things I Cannot Do

1. argue successfully and intelligently
2. survive my family for more than 24 hours in one go
3. eat avocado
4. be near a spider or a slug
5. fail to get incensed at fuckwittery and wilful ignorance
6. get through a uni degree (i'm determined to prove that one wrong this time though)
7. stand anyone talking about bodily functions, goriness, mould or meat production (i guess that counts as goriness) when i'm eating. i can't finish my food.
8. tell the 'ewar woowar' joke or the 'ba-boom!' one without giggling
9. stand the feeling of a tongue in my ear

Nine Things That Attract Me to... (a person)

1. something about their eyes
2. humour
3. honesty
4. intelligence
5. sparkle
6. smell
7. music taste
8. cat tolerance
9. words

Nine Things I Say

1 where the fuck is/are my bastard keys/books/money/phone/cats/mind????
2 oooooh!
3 cake?
4 sorry
5 this might sound stupid, but..
6 have you heard the national?
7 *not now*, bob
8. shall i dooley him? and does she need tweaking?
9. do you mind if i make a joint?

Nine Good Books

1. the unbearable lightness of being - milan kundera
2. if nobody speaks of remarkable things - john mcgregor
3. the accidental - ali smith
4. extremely loud and incredibly close - jonathon safran foer
5. the female eunuch - germaine greer
6. cock and bull - will self
7. riddley walker - russell hoban
8. therese raquin - emile zola
9. the god of small things - arundhti roy

Nine Good Movies

1. miss sweden
2. donnie darko
3. goodbye lenin
4. harvey
5. gattica
6. the proposition
7. the big lebowski
8. the haunting (1963)
9. threads (1984 bbc film)

Nine Things I've Only Done Once And Don't Expect To Do Again

1. tried stuffed vine leaves. and spat them out again.
2. had a night out with a woman whose initial begins with j. and i never want another night out with again.
3. dressed up in a giant tweetie pie costume for the opening of a national pet superstore chain and made kids cry
4. regrettable aussie ex
5. licked a spikey cactus
6. been to a united reformed church service past the age of twelve
7. stated in a tutorial that god said somewhere in the bible 'i am what i am'. i somehow doubt he does showtunes.
8. kissed the wrong girl when the right girl was under my nose
9. villagers

Nine Songs I Don't Think I Could Live Without

1. the devastations - coal
2. jeff buckley - grace
3. king creosote - not one bit ashamed
4. mum - green grass of tunnel
5. the national - about today
6. calexico - alone again, or
7. laura veirs - through december
8. r.e.m. - you are the everything
9. tindersticks - dancing

this next bit can wait to be edited

Nine Blogs To Tag

1. quirky quigy (his blog appeared in my stat counter. nice attitude towards women, especially elderly indian ladies. his angry rant has made me develop an angry rant. let's all spam his comments.*
2. sister spinster's tour diary (it counts as a blog in my eyes, ok?)
3. my swamp
4. miss badger says 'love your cunt!!'
5. bristling badger
6. between my legs
7.dr phunk opinion
8. loose lips sink ships
9.crazy lowdown ways (nb - if you *do* happen to read this, you answer whatever questions you like, sweetheart) :)

and jim, in response to your wish to learn russian....

"ooh minya' yest yawjj jeevyot vuh tipleetsa". (rough transcription)
you can now proudly declare to any passing russians that you have a hedgehog that lives in your greenhouse.

will you have a greenhouse in dublin?
and are you around next weekend (as in this coming fri/sat/sun) for a herbal cuppa?


bah. it's too late and i have packing to do.

look out australian violinists and random internet people across the uk.

i'm on my way. and i have whisky.




*stat counter and pmt. what a great combination.

heh it got deleted within two hours