and we're on so many drugs with the radio on and the curtains drawn

again, kind of linked back to someone else's blog post, i'd like to take the time to talk about the anti-depressant (or, as i like to call it, craaaazyhead tablets) citalopram.

i've been taking it since july 2004. i started off on 10 mg/day, went to 20 after a couple of weeks and up to 30 after an unbearable january this year. i'm starting to come off them at the moment, gone down to 20, down to 10 next month and then hopefully nothing.

i've had quite severe episodes of depression since about the age of fourteen. i've found life like this almost too hard to cope with. it took me until july last year to properly ask for help from my gp (the only other time i came close was when i had crazy insomnia a few years ago and hadn't slept for about 2 days.. asked my gp if i could get any kind of single sleeping tablet and was told to instead keep a sleep diary for a month.. am undecided as to whether or not that was a good thing).

i'm still not sure as to whether my enjoying life *since* starting them is because of them or simply because of the stuff i'm doing and the people i love. i know that normally this january gone, i'd be far worse than i actually *was*.. and i'm feeling myself (no innuendo intended) enough to venture back to un-medicated society.

but i'm rambling.

the intent of this post was the side effects of citalopram. before i started taking it, i googled a fair bit to find other users' experiences and feedback of it. it all seemed ok. then, in the leaflet that comes with the tablets, i found that the listed side effects included:
"involuntary production of milk" (in both males and females)
"hallucination"
"panic attacks"
"feelings of detachment"
"changes in mental status including confusion, irritability and extreme agitation which may lead to delerium and coma"
"extreme happiness"
"increased sex drive"
"coughing"
"generally feeling unwell"
"increased sweating"
"general weakness"
"inability to concentrate"
"strange dreams"
"forgetfulness"
"lack of interest"
"suicide attempt"
"confusion"
"abnormal vision"
"severe tiredness"

some of them sound more fun than others.

however, i'm very thankful that i'm not canadian. their side effects (of, i believe, the same drug) include "Rare: Peripheral edema, sudden death, traumatic injury. "

the national - spreading the word

"i'm a perfect piece of ass... i'm a festival, i'm a parade..."











righty.
last week i filled my time chasing across england after a band.
i've posted about them before.
i am slightly obsessed (in a good way, right?).

i reckon it's time for a warning that the photos are being developed, the interview is being posed and a fairly large post is to come...

on a similar tack, i'd like to talk about steve. i only ever see him at gigs. he lives and breathes music. i've never been to a gig he wasn't at, and i've never had a conversation with him that wasn't about bands. if he stays on at a club night after a gig, he'll be tapping you on the shoulder every five minutes on the dance floor to discuss the new four tet ep, or (insert random band)'s upcoming gig. i *think* he works, but i'm not sure (i can't imagine him doing anything other than working in a record store) and he's just *so* into stuff. it's impossible to talk to him without him mentioning about fifteen bands you've never heard of and will never get around to hearing. he rocks, in a 'music is my life' kinda way.

i'm not *that* far into music-obsession. yet. last.fm is making me feel extra nerdy (but it's v much recommended - see links on right) but i'm finding some ace stuff on there. i also had a whisky-fuelled conversation over the weekend with one of the band i was chasing, who sagely commented that we're all strange, we're all obsessive, we all have our own ridiculous traits but that's not at all a bad thing (or words to that effect. actually, i could have got that completely wrong. there was whisky involved) which has made me feel less weird.

and damn your eyes m, you've talked me into following clogs around next year. see you down the front? :)

edit: yup, half the pics are back :)

so, yeah, i legged it round the country on buses and trains to see the national.




wow, certainly an intense man
and again

arguing with the evangelists

right. i've come to the conclusion that i'm a blogging vampire - i tend to hide behind posting other people's opinions/articles/daft shit and not contribute anything myself. an empty vessel making a lot of noise, if you like.

so why change now, eh? :)

thought i'd post this as a link in with jim bliss's weekend wittering post and the comments that followed it.

in the spirit of re-use, re-cycle and re-inform, i've found the following resources mighty handy when discussing religion and my apparent immorality:

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality, who dispenses advice to people who call in to her Radio show. On her radio show recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination, according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet.
It's funny, as well as thought-provoking.

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16). Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
++++++++++++++++++++

Sodom and Gomorrah, which is a classically held Scripture used most frequently to "prove" how God hates homosexuality. It is a passage that I contend is most often misunderstood. But I will let the Bible interpret itself. It is written in Ezekiel 16:49,50:

"Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fullness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy. And they were haughty, and committed abomination before me: therefore I took them away as I saw good."

The question I know you will ask is, "What is this about abomination?" Indeed, what is it? Let's look at the account of Sodom again:

The word rendered here as "abomination" comes from "tow'ebah" (in Strong's, it's # 8441), and is said in Strong's to mean "idolatry" or "idolaters". In the Hebrew it is very clear that it does not mean "homosexuality".

In Luke 10:3-12, Jesus talks to his disciples about what to do if they are not greeted with hospitality, and tells what the consequence will be for such towns. In verse 12, Christ says, "But I say unto you, that it shall be more tolerable [merciful] in that day for Sodom, than for that city." He said this after a full missive on inhospitality, so we must take verse 12 in that context.

You may also look particularly at Genesis 19:4-5, which reads:

"But before they [the men in the house and the angels] lay down [to sleep], the men [Strong's #582, Hebrew word 'enowsh] of the city, even the men of Sodom, compassed the house round, both young and old, all the people from every quarter:

And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? Bring them out unto us, that we may know [Strong's # 3045, Hebrew yada] them."

The Hebrew word "'enowsh" is most accurately translated as mortals, and includes all genders and all ages. Even in the context provided in the story, it is clear in the Hebrew that it is the majority of the town population, male and female, that is represented here.

The Hebrew word "yada" has no sexual context, and means to become acquainted with socially. By no means is yada translated elsewhere with a sexual context, either. If sexual interaction were intended, the word "shakab" (Strong's # 7901) would be used instead, which means to know sexually. It is fascinating to note on the side that the NIV mistranslates yada here as "we want to have sex with them".

That said, the notion that Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed for homosexuality does not hold up. The Hebrew is clear, and nowhere is homosexuality made an issue.

Of very interesting note is that historically it is the Roman Catholic Church that is guilty of the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah. In the Middle Ages, and even after, the Church was always full of riches, with gold and rich foods, and yet allowed thousands upon thousands of its own subjects to starve and be subjected to slavery as paupers in the papal reign. To escape being exposed for the hypocrite it was, the Roman Catholic Church very likely chose to mistranslate and misconstrue the truth of the story of Sodom and Gomorrah to escape the wrath of the people. What better scapegoats than its own abundance of homosexual priests? By pinning Sodom and Gomorrah on this population, the Roman Catholic Church blackmailed its own priesthood into silence, threatening excommunication if anyone spoke against her.
(John S. Dixon)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++

oh, and jim, one of the bands i like has a track called 'my mr neverending bliss'.. it now always makes me smile and think of you. chin up dude x

all the wine

seeing as it's free entry and no guestlist, the kiwigoddess is promised free wine if she ever comes down.
(not *all* the wine, of course. we do this for love, not money, y'know!)



we go weekly after xmas.

and i'm starting to make us a website..

i love them best

bit of gorgeousness from the website of the viola/violinist dude (the lovely beanie-wearing, whisky drinking padma newsome) out of the national and clogs
















I love them best

by padma

I love them best, my friends, as they sleep.
My small heart contracts a tenderness beside...

If sleep is like death
I love them to it.
come quiet and cease
as I bring the sheets to their skin.

It is a passive love, I know,
safe and abstract
and only barely human


but perhaps one evening
they will awake and
see me standing
gaze clear and my mind's hand on their brow


understand


I love them best, my friends.

the dead flag blues

one of the essays mentioned below. i'm soooo proud of it - it was concocted on a bus between brighton and london during the great national stalking debacle. and i think it's the best thing i've ever written (even though it's got a total bias)

The Dead Flag Blues - Godspeed You! Black Emperor

the car's on fire and there's no driver at the wheel.
and the sewers are all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides.
and a dark wind blows.
the government is corrupt.
and we're on so many drugs
with the radio on and the curtains drawn.
we're trapped in the belly of this horrible machine,
and the machine is bleeding to death.
the sun has fallen down
and the billboards are all leering
and the flags are all dead at the top of their poles.
it went like this:
the buildings tumbled in on themselves.
mothers clutching babies picked through the rubble
and pulled out their hair.
the skyline was beautiful on fire.
all twisted metal stretching upwards.
everything washed in a thin orange haze.
i said: "kiss me, you're beautiful -- these are truly the last days."
you grabbed my hand and we fell into it like a daydream or a fever.
we woke up one morning and fell a little further down --
for sure it's the valley of death.
i open up my wallet and it's full of blood.

analysis

The opening line provides us with the metaphor of society as a burning car, headed for disaster. The problems of living in a mass society are highlighted, ‘a thousand lonely suicides’ lining the sewers. The contradiction of the isolation of suicide with it’s high incidence shows that people are alienated en masse. The fact that corpses are in the sewers suggest that these people were the effluent of society, a form of waste.

The assertion that ‘we’re on so many drugs’ could refer to the (sometimes unwitting) dependence that many have on substances - from additives in food, through to caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, illicit drugs and medication. That we are doing this with ‘the radio on and the curtains drawn’ shows our isolation, and our willingness to shut out interaction with the outside world.

‘This horrible machine’ may refer to society at large and the culture of capitalism we subscribe to. Being ‘trapped in the belly’ suggests that we are being eaten alive by consumerism, that it is ‘bleeding to death’ shows a society in trouble. The falling of the sun gives an apocalyptic edge to the song.

Further references to capitalism and consumerism include ‘the billboards are all leering’ - advertisers work on the premise that you are less ‘acceptable’ unless you buy their product - the advert(iser) is superior to the consumer. The ‘death’ of the flags lends impotence to the notions of nationalism and allegiance - globalisation reduces national identity. They are limp, despite the fact that ‘a dark wind blows’.

Switching from the present to the past tense, the lyrics recount what will happen. The narration shifts from the present to the future, describing the consequences of our actions. ‘The buildings tumbled in on themselves’ may be a metaphor for the unsustainability of capitalism. Perpetual self-growth inevitably leads to collapse. ‘Picking through the rubble’, trying to salvage what they can, mothers carry the next generation and tear their hair, an activity which relates to madness, grief and anxiety.

‘The skyline was beautiful on fire’ illustrates the beauty that can be found in horror. That ‘everything was washed in a thin orange haze’ suggests visual effects of global warming, and that everything is being cleansed and purified. Apocalyptic reference continues with ‘I said kiss me, you’re beautiful, these are truly the last days’…..’we fell a little further down’ …. ‘for sure it’s the valley of death’.

The concluding line draws the parallel between blood and money. We often say we ‘draw’ both of these things. Metaphorically, money is the life-blood of capitalism. We give ‘blood, sweat and tears’ when we work hard, and paid work is a form of exploitation. We can give ‘blood money’. Large corporations are often guilty of literally killing for profit, meaning that they profit from blood. When you use money, you cannot help but cause damage - money aids (over)consumption, which in turn damages our planet and people.

all cows eat marmalade

yes, i'm meant to be doing essays. in fact, i *am* doing essays but have decided that i haven't done enough procrastination today. only 200 words left so don't worry, i'll be fine.

harking back to the fine post about ridiculous uni notes, i've managed to glean yet more.

again, from 'tricks of style'

" all cows eat marmalade
premise: this creature is a cow
compliment: therefore it eats marmalade.

Do all cows really eat marmalade? You would have to go and interview every cow in the universe to determine that. Which would be impossible, obviously, because you'd always end up missing out the one cow that doesn't eat marmalade".


ms chris bousfield, lecturer of pinkish hair and fantastic boots, i think i may love you

swearing & abuse - a short guide

with a little assistance from the br..

you cunty old bag
you shitfuckers
you dirty panty sniffing minger
cunt sniffing witches the lot of you
pack of cum queens
i hate you jerks so bad right now.. in teh face
cockjockeys
jealous bitter old vinegar titted witch
manky cow
ah go piss on a fire hydrant
twatnose
fuckwad
and (the cracker) why dont u piss off u big fat hairy lemon
unbelievable spunkerchief
cunting fucker
wankbag
skank
arsing bag of wank
sir wankalot
cunt-headed-fuck-wanking-bollock-twat
fat frotting cuntybollocks


i'm noticing a lot of cunts and wanking in the above list.
to be added to as and when.

a very nice lady has offered this point of view:

"I have been doing a simple semantic analysis of the words that the contributors to the Swearing thread have produced. There are 20 core words and the others are compounds, a core word and another word ie “dickhead”etc.
These 20 can be further subdivided into 4 categories:-
• Names for the sexual organs and associated body parts.
• Names for sexual activity and the results of it
• Terms for bodily fluids and solids
• A few uncomplimentary terms for women…dating I imagine from a time when men had the monopoly on using swear words…at least in public.
Anyone can draw their own conclusions for the preponderance of words in the above categories.

My own opinion inclines to the view that Anglo-Saxons and their descendants, by their choice of terms of abuse, indicate a profound disgust with the body and its functions especially in the area of sex activity and waste products.

Very much in keeping with our Puritanical Christian heritage.

I have been looking on the Net at Swearing in other languages...the only ones i can judge are French and Italian and they certainly do not reflect the same obsessions as the Anglo Saxons.

Italians seem to insult your mother rather than you.
Anyway just my 2 cents worth."

cheers for that, manu.

other gems that have come along include:

flangepiece
snow fanny (frigid hettie minger femme)
spunk monkey
monkfish (it's in the tone)
shit lips
ball sac
shit the bed
piss-shit-wank-fuck
buggery-bollocks-arse-wank
dirty ticket
scouser's fingers

the conclusion has been drawn, however, that the worst insult of em all is liar.

boys in the bedroom

i read a lot. i think that's a good thing. keeps me out of trouble.
the only problem is that stuff tends to stick in my head, often at the least ideal moment..
david baddiel for instance. the guy's a bit of a knobhead, but i really enjoyed his second book (whatever love means) and bits of the first (time for bed). however, i will never be able to forgive the fucker for this popping up in my head at the most inopportune moments. and giving me the urge to say 'sausages' at incredibly inappropriate times.
another one's david foster wallace... he's a bit of a hero of mine. i adore the way he writes, he did an entire essay on growing up in windy midwestern america and being heavily involved in the junior tennis circuit. described how the weather would affect the games and his strategies, his feelings before matches, his techniques.. all down to a tee. and then i read that he's never actually played a game of tennis in his life.
he wrote the fantastic short story collection 'brief interviews with hideous men', which obviously i loved to bits, except for this excerpt.
david foster wallace, after i had read that, came pretty close to ruining my sex life forever*.

thank god he didn't succeed.




*(still vaguely continuing - hand + stomach = arghdavidfosterwallacedamnyoureyes.)

until we all start putting the needs of others first....

this appeared on indymedia's newswire a few weeks ago. really liked the response that robbie gave. useful links too.
_______________________________________

Until we all start putting the needs of others first, others will suffer.

Until we all start putting the needs of others first, others will suffer.

Until we all start putting the needs of others first, others will suffer.

I suppose that does mean in everything I do, doesn't it?

So greed in any form is out, isn't it?

And I guess I've got my reason for being vegan, all meat production contributes to climate change, and starving of other people so that animals may be fed for food.

I can suddenly see more clearly why I mustn't smoke, from the production where people are oppressed to actually offending those around me, if I smoke I am not putting the needs of others first.

This is going to be harder than I first thought.

There goes any thought of travel, or buying new clothes, re-use, and re-use, and re-use and recycle, and don't buy from Tesco or other big nasty stores, ever, for any reason/excuse.

I had better go and get started on my new life.

Anyone want to join me?

_________________________________
it's a bit hard tho'
02.10.2005 13:48

If I am not surrounded in my much needed products, how am I to live?
Its so hard trying to get by without my SUV (I do live in the country) I need to keep up with the latest fashions or our clients may think our components are not dangerous enough. The job is so stressful I have become smoking addicted.

Go live in a cave!

consumer tom

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Joining" is optional
03.10.2005 14:38

'Art of War' said '...until we start...'
Not "...until we make a religion of it..."

"I suppose that does mean in everything I do, doesn't it?"
Yes, a consistent position is the best goal to aim for.

"So greed in any form is out, isn't it?"
Temptation comes to us all, and always will. It's how you choose to respond that matters.

"And I guess I've got my reason for being vegan, all meat production contributes to climate change, and starving of other people so that animals may be fed for food."
No, all meat production doesn't contribute to climate change. You can produce fish, poultry and even a little red meat on a distributed basis, without wrecking the climate further and without sweatshop labour.
But if you don't want to harm animals either, then yes you should eat as vegan as you can. If you can manage it 100%, then well done to you.

"I can suddenly see more clearly why I mustn't smoke, from the production where people are oppressed to actually offending those around me, if I smoke I am not putting the needs of others first."
Until tobacco and its products can be produced without sweatshop labour, then no, you shouldn't smoke.

"This is going to be harder than I first thought."
Yes indeed: your life will be less comfortable and convenient if you try to live ethically.

"There goes any thought of travel"
No, you can travel to all sorts of wonderful places without harming anyone or anything.

"or buying new clothes,"
Here ya go matey:
(clicky here).
(clicky here).

"re-use, and re-use, and re-use and recycle, and don't buy from Tesco or other big nasty stores, ever, for any reason/excuse."
It's better to shop for local produce from locally-owned shops, yes. The Co-Op supermarket tries reasonably hard to source their stuff ethically, and aren't geared to shutting down smaller competition. They're also run by and for their membership, not for shareholders.
(clicky here).

"I had better go and get started on my new life. Anyone want to join me?"
There are loads of us doing it already pal. Welcome. :)

Robbie

loose lips sink ships

it's that time of year again. my favourite, favourite band in the world, The National are touring. check their website (clicky here). UK dates are:

14 Nov: UK, Brighton: Komedia
15 Nov: UK, London: ULU (University of London Union)
16 Nov: UK, Nottingham: Social
17 Nov: UK Glasgow: King Tuts
18 Nov: UK, Leeds: The Cockpit
19 Nov: Ireland, Dublin: Whelan's
20 Nov: UK, Manchester: Manchester Academy 3

and, hurray, i'm going to all the ones in england. and only missing an hour of uni (hopefully)

they're touring here with filmschool. they were playing with clap your hands say yeah in the usa. one of the national's songs (cherry tree) has the lyric 'loose lips sink ships'

which leads us neatly onto the new blog in my links. shatteredstar was lovely enough to post in my comments & her blog, loose lips sink ships, is really neat and she likes clap your hands say yeah.

and my final thought for the day is POST SOME COMMENTS YOU BASTARDS (if you haven't already). my ego needs massaging.

what is enlightenment?

Immanuel Kant

An Answer to the Question: What is Enlightenment?

Konigsberg in Prussia, 30th September 1784

"Enlightenment is man's emergence from his self-incurred immaturity. Immaturity is the inability to use one's own understanding without the guidance of another. This immaturity is self-incurred if its cause is not lack of understanding, but lack of resolution and courage to use it without the guidance of another. The motto of enlightenment is therefore Sapere aude! Have courage to use your own understanding!

Laziness and cowardice are the reasons why such a large proportion of men, even when nature has long emancipated them from alien guidance, nevertheless gladly remain immature for life. For the same reasons, it is all too easy for others to set themselves up as their guardians. It is so convenient to be immature! If I have a book to have understanding in place of me, a spiritual advisor to have a conscience for me, a doctor to judge my diet for me, and so on, I need not make any efforts at all. I need not think, so long as I can pay; others will soon take the tiresome job over for me...

If it is now asked whether we at present live in an enlightened age, the answer is: No, but we are living in an age of enlightenment. As things are at present, we still have a long way to go before men as a whole can be in a position (or can ever be put into a position) of using their own understanding confidently and well in religious matters, without outside guidance. But we do have distinct indications that the way is now being cleared for them to work freely in this direction, and that the obstacles to universal enlightenment, to man's emergence from his self-incurred immaturity, are gradually becoming fewer. In this respect our age is the age of enlightenment."

still relevant 221 years later, i reckon.

tasers again

in the good ol us of a, a naked man has been tasered by police. twice in one week.
hurrah.

colliding worlds and common denominators

i had a bit of a weird monday. just before i dashed off to uni, i checked out this site (re-claire the streets, now in links) and read claire/aka radical supergirly's most recent post (below). She writes, "Most of these poems were written for performance. Without the tone, dynamics, pauses and gestures that give them life they're empty shells so you have to all imagine me jumping up and down in a big red frock and you might get some of the intended sp[i]rit."

Let the poem do the talking
This page is my page.
Read it and use
your mind not your eye.
Tell me how it moves you,
how it sticks to your shoes
with the blues,
how it makes you cry
out loud in a crowded room.
This poem's got some thoughts behind
you should take time to find.

This is my page and this is my mic.
Got one hand on my clit when I write.
And I'm down on my knees tonight,
to love and fuck and spit and guide you.
Do you feel this inside you?
Can I make this come when I do
without it choking in my throat?
I don't like poets cheap sleaze for fat scores
Won't line women up on stage like whores.
But is my poem braver than yours?
What will you give for this public masturbation?
A six point nine or a standing ovation?

This is my mic and this is my stage.
Sometimes my poems are brighter than brave.
But I wanna tell you about how I misbehave and I fight.
There's been an execution tonight.
Cos like the vote some folks died for this light.
Ken Saro Wiwa hung tight.
Mikey Smith got beaten down.
Some other, somewhere, somehow.
Am I feelin the rage? LORD right.
So I'm takin the stage tonight

This is your page and your stage and your mic.
Are you feeling the love tonight? Yeah!
Are you feeling the words tonight? Yeah!
Can you feel what you've heard tonight? Yeah!
Are you raising your voice tonight? Yeah!
Well if you've got this (heart)
Then you've gotta use this (voice)
Because this page, this stage, this mic, this world
got room for more
words.

I wondered briefly who mikey smith was, and legged it completely unprepared to my lecture.

My notes, taken twenty minutes later, include: "Performance poetry has three components: the author/storyteller, the text being recited, and the audience. It requires atmosphere, gesture, sound, memory, movement, repetition and interaction. The oral artist, to some extent, improvises and reacts to the audience. The audience and the poet tell the story together".

We then moved on to specific performance poets in Caribbean literature, including Mikey Smith and Edward Kamau Brathwaite. Someone has described his annunciation of “Lawwwwwwwwd” in the following poem as "a noise which reproduces in fact the noise made by a Japanese S90 motorcycle".

i liked that too.

anyhow, more coincidences - i had to analyse:

Edward Kamau Brathwaite
STONE
(for Mikey Smith, stoned to death on Stony Hill, Kingston 1954-1983)

When the stone fall that morning out of the johncrow sky
it was not dark at first . that opening on to the red sea humming
but something in my mouth like feathers . blue like bubbles
carrying signals & planets & the sliding curve of the
world like a water pic. ture in a raindrop when the pressure. drop





When the stone fall that morning out of the johncrow sky
I couldn't cry out because my mouth was full of beast & plunder
as if I was gnashing badwords among tombstones
as if the road up stony hill . round the bend by the church
yard . on the way to the post office . was a bad bad dream

& the dream was like a snarl of broken copper wire zig
zagging its electric flashes up the hill & splitt. ing spark & flow.
ers high. er up the hill. past the white houses & the ogogs bark.
ing all teeth & fur. nace & my mother like she up. like she up.


like she up. side down up a tree like she was scream.
like she was scream. like she was scream. ing no & no.
body i could hear could hear a word i say. ing . even though
there were so many poems left & the tape was switched on &

runn. ing & runn. ing &
the green light was red & they was stannin up there &
evva. where in london & amsterdam & at unesco in paris &
in west berlin & clapp. ing & clapp. ing & clapp. ing &

not a soul on stony hill to even say amen




& yet it was happening happening happening .
the fences begin to crack in i skull.
& there was a loud booodoooooooooooooooogs like
guns goin off . them ole time magnums .

or like a fireworks a dreadlocks was on fire .
& the gaps where the river comin down
inna the drei gully where my teeth use to be smilin .
& i tuff gong tongue that use to press against them & parade

pronunciation . now unannounce & like a black wick in i head & dead .
& it was like a heavy heavy riddim low down in i belly . bleedin dub .
& there was like this heavy heavy black dog thump. in in i chest &
pump. in

murdererrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

& i throat like dem tie. like dem tie. like dem tie a tight tie a.
round it. twist. ing my name quick crick. quick crick .
& a nevva wear neck. tie yet .

& a hear when de big boot kick down i door . stump
in it foot pun a knot in de floor. board .
a window slam shat at de back a mi heart .

de itch & ooze & damp a de yaaad
in mi sil. ver tam. bourines closer & closer .
st joseph marching bands crash. ing & closer .

bom si. cai si. ca boom ship bell . bom si. cai si. ca boom ship bell
& a laughin more blood & spittin out

lawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwd