Sunday, October 30, 2005

i am a really strong cylinder

bit of a random personal post here... just been going through some boxes and found my 'big red book', a scrap book type thing that i kept from about 16 to 20....
there's a couple of things that really made my heart ache. my best friend, karen williams, died in december 2002. there's some stuff she put in my book that has made me feel more than ever how much i miss her. so i kind of feel like i should post it to get it out of my system. here goes...

Hello. My name is Karen and I am Zoe's friend. We are both going through massive changes at this time, we are both - in very different ways - beginning to metamorphosise into what + who we are truly meant to be. We will get to the other side of these changes. We are both strong & somewhat amazing women. Courage & fortitude, faith & the ability to change - we are incredible - why wouldn't we be with all the shit that has rained down on us. We would have drowned by now had we not been as strong as we are - all we need to do is draw on our reserves of power & we will win. We have won already."

This is followed by her own cartoon of her with the following annotations:
"really strong cylinder, you could stand on it"
shadow (of pain & sadness)
squidgy stuff
poorly foot.

can't get the cartoon to upload onto here, here's a pic of us in amsterdam on new years day 2001 instead. her on the left and me on the right.

she described me as a "large floppy sunflower".


just a few more things about her. she once literally pissed herself laughing at the awfulness of some tack in a charity shop. she also pissed herself when she got her head stuck in some railings. at the age of 28. she often experimented to see what the birds that came outside her front door liked to eat (apparently muesli goes down a treat but they ain't keen on sugar puffs). she didn't think her acid was doing anything until she saw peter rabbit rolling logs. she made me cry because she loved me. she would, on meeting someone she fancied, set herself a challenge to lick a part of their clothing without them noticing (hence the phrase 'i leeek your fleece' when spying totty in the distance). she was mortified at the fact that her mum would find her vibrator on clearing the house after she was gone. she went out with a bloke we nicknamed 'the turk', who was mortified by said vibrator.

and i reckon she's up there somewhere laughing her ass off at me.


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